Stepparenting: 50 one-minute dos and don'ts for stepdads and stepmoms

Do show love and respect for your spouse

Don't use chores as punishment

Don't yell

Do choose activities that bond you as a family

Don't hide every parental disagreement

Don't buy love

Do give time

Don't point out your own attributes

Don't try to be the cool parent

Do be fair and consistent in discipline

Don't spank

Don't wait until marriage to start taking on a role

Do go slow

Do let your spouse and his or her child have their own private time

Do create new family activities and traditions

Do get ready for "you are not my dad/mom"

Don't expect an immediate blended family

Don't be jealous when the child talks about the out-of-house parent

Don't let your stepchild's rudeness go unnoticed

Do find time to focus on your spouse

Do accept your stepchild for who they are

Do take care of yourself

Do find "little" activities to do together

Do build a family website or Facebook page

Don't get sucked into taking sides between children

Do consider stepparent adoption

Do give easy opportunities to talk

Do be flexible in what your stepchild calls you

Do recognize adult stepchildren have emotions too

Do consider attending worship together

Don't get upset on mother's/father's day

Don't push gender-specific roles on your spouse

Do be prepared to pay for the failures of the out-of-house parent

Do help your stepchild feel good about himself/herself

Don't feel you need to solve every problem

Don't be afraid to refer to your stepchild as "my son" or "my daughter"

Do be prepared for the sex with your spouse to change

Don't brush aside your child's grief

Do be prepared for a child's rejection

Do be prepared for your stepchild to badmouth you to the out-of-house parent

Don't defend yourself against every negative comment from the out-of-house parent

Do help your stepchild buy gifts for the out-of-house parent

Do understand the reason for a child's anger and rudeness

Don't "pass the buck" to the stepparent

Don't let your guilt over a failed marriage make you spoil your child

Don't control your kids. Guide them

Do recognize your stepchild may show love in different ways

Do use the fewest words possible

Don't criticize a child for bad behavior, criticize the behavior itself

Do respect a stepchild's need for privacy and decorum

Don't feel every holiday must be spent together

From the author.